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I am a college student.

I am 15.

I have problems.

I sometimes feel insecure.

I sometimes want to use my

‘College student’ status

To prove myself worthy to people.

I have failed about a thousand times over.

But that does not make me a failure.

I am more than my mistakes.

            They don’t define me.

                   I know that now.  

                        Let me tell you how…

I have a Savior who is more than all I’ve ever wanted.

            I have hope.

                        I have a Friend who is with me 

through everything.

            He gives me hope.

                        He constantly reminds me that I am 

not alone.

And I am not alone.

I have a new identity in Him.

It isn’t my ability to be perfect 

that determines God’s ability to use me.

It isn’t my performance that determines His love for me.

It isn’t anything

 about

me.

It’s everything about Him.

Can I tell you a secret? 

One that might possibly become everything to you?

He could be your friend too.

I can’t even begin to tell you all that He is.
                                           I just couldn’t - it’s not possible. 

But I can tell you this:

He is more than enough.

He can change your life.

He can take big problems.

He can take problems so minute

That you are sure that 

He doesn’t care about them.

He will  take them.
As soon as you let Him, He will take them away 

and He will become everything to you. 

Freedom

Ever since hearing ‘Out There’ from Hunchback of Notre Dame, I’ve loved the song.

It tells of Quasimodo and his desire to be “out there”. His desire to be free.

As I was listening to the song today, I again heard the line,

‘Ev'ry day they shout and scold and go about their lives
Heedless of the gift it is to be them’

and it struck me just how much most of us take for granted.

The concept of freedom. How many of us don’t even think about freedom? How many of us take the freedom we have for granted?

It’s not hard to do.

I do it without even realizing it. I just do what I want; walk on the streets, play in the parks, swim in local lakes, travel. And when I’m doing all different types of things, I never stop to think about the sacrifices that my freedom cost.

So many people, men, women, children, have died to ensure my freedom. Most of them knew what was happening, and decided their death was worth the freedom of those to come.

Wow.

It also brings to mind the One who has died to set everyone free.

The same thing happens with Him.

I go about my life without fear of death or fear of the future. Without the oppression of sin weighing on me. I love people without (as much) reserve. I live in spiritual freedom, and often forget to think of His sacrifices for me.

How can I change my life to be more thankful?

Personally, I will remember when I hear “Out there”.

What about you?  

Burn the Ships

Recently a couple sisters and I visited Kittitas and Ellensburg.

We used to live there.

It was the strangest feeling to drive through the towns.
I saw my old house.
I saw streets I played on and trees I climbed.
I saw my old church.
I saw where friends used to live.
And I visited with some dear friends.

But emotionally it was like a ghost town. It used to be when I drove down these roads I felt like I was coming home. For a long time Kitittas and Ellensburg were home when where I am wasn't. I would long for "home", while sitting on my bed in my new house.

But now... I don't.

Don't get me wrong- I still love the people there very much. Still wish I still had community like I did when with the college students. Still wish I had trees to climb.
But I'm no longer home there.

My family is my home. And my family has moved.

And honestly E-burg has held me captive for much too long.

For years I was sad and angry over the move and didn't want to feel emotional pain again.

So I chose not to love.

Ever heard the phrase "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"?

Well for a while, I disagreed.
Loving and losing?
It hurts.
Badly.
But it's true; it is better to love and feel pain than to be so wounded over past pain that you isolate yourself from love.

Steven Curtis Chapman has a song called "Burn the Ships".
Maybe you've heard it, maybe not.

Anyway, the song speaks of Spanish explorer Cortez. During the spring of 1519, this explorer, along with his fleet, arrived in Mexico. But once the crew faced the challenges of the new world, they quietly discussed returning ‘home’. In response, Cortez tells them to burn the ships. They were in Mexico to stay.

And today I can tell you I have finally burned the ships.

I know I'm here to stay.

And I'm not afraid to love.

And that freedom is glorious!

So, It's Been a While...

Yeah, it's been a while; over a year even...

And alot has happened.

But unfortunately I can't remember much of it...

It's not that I've forgotten though...

No, there's just alot and.. um... there's been alot.

But anyway, seeing as how pictures are worth a thousand words, I'll let them sum up the year.

Sisters :o)

Passover! (Just to clarify, we aren't Jewish)

Horseradish.. We mixed up the spicy vs. creamy... Oops.

The main plate. We love Passover.

Cake (made with salt in the place of sugar) left with about 500 forks ;0)

And three mustard seeds, growing alongside my faith :o)

So, those are the pictures to basically sum up my year. 

Except one thing- The GAPS diet. 

We started it for health reasons, and it has been an interesting journey. That will continue for the next LONG time. 

So, that's been my year. Maybe I'll post again soon, but may be not.. I think I'll forget... :o)

The Evil Thing of This World

OK, I know that there is more than just one evil thing in this world, but really, I DON'T CARE!

Now, the evil thing I was talking about is math. I woke up this morning, wanting to go back to bed.

Not caring that my sister bought us donuts for desert.

Not caring that the sun was shining.

Not caring about much of anything or anyone but myself.

Because you see, there is an evil thing that exists every  school day, and it is called math.

Seeing as how today is a school day, I did not want to get out of bed.

Of course I did anyway.

I went upstairs and ate the donuts, all the while being thankful that it wasn't oatmeal.

I went back downstairs and started the fire, thinking about how thankful I am that we have something to heat the house.

I went back upstairs and worked in the kitchen, thankful for my family.

I went downstairs and did my math, thankful I had already finished half my lesson and that it was so easy.

Then I got bored with sitting on my bed doing nothing, (and I was NOT going to do another lesson of math) so I went upstairs and with a notebook in hand, bugged my mom.

You see, I have decided that I want to work on high school level stuff, so that when I get to high school I am better prepared.

Anyway, I went upstairs and talked to my mom about subjects needed, and we start talking.

Here is the list we came up with:

• Math
• Bible
• History
• Writing
• Science 
• Spelling
• Reading
• Geography
• Currant Affairs
• Home Economics
• Arts and Crafts

Then we started talking about math, and what book I need to be in for 8th grade. I grabbed the book, and it randomly fell open to the evil-ist part of the evil book. 

The conversion factor.

Does it make sense to you!?

Yeah; me either!!

P.S. This is an old post, I am actually starting High School on Tuesday.  I am still trying to understand math, so feel free to explain the math stuff...
P.P.S. I am no longer able to say math is evil..... But this is an old post so it is ok, right?
P.P.P.S. I asked my mom and she said I could post it even though I said math was evil...but I'm not saying that anymore. Or at least not very often :)

Dinner is Served!

This is slightly old, but I still wanted to post it...

I made dinner all by myself!!!

It was quinoa with chicken and rice.

Here are some pictures:o)

Oh! I almost for got the gravy! I was able to remember how to make it without my mom's help!

I was super excited!!!

Evil Villains...

Villains.
They come up in most books, movies, and stories.
I am here to tell you that some come up in my daily life too.
Here they are... (that is, the ones in my life)

The Alarm Clock (well not so much the alarm clock, I don't particularly like waking up early enough that I need it)

The Cell Phone (or rather talking on the phone. I simply hate it. It terrifies me...)

Weeds (they are SO hard to get rid of)

Chores (they NEVER end!!!) not really, they just are BORING!!!

Messy Bedrooms (they are seemingly everlasting)

Unmade Beds (uggg. You have to make them every morning...)

and last, the worst villain in history...

MATH  (I am not allowed to say I hate it -even though I do- so I have discovered new ways to express my dislike)

Those are some villains in my life... 

Yours might be different, but I'm pretty sure you have some also.
Enjoy your day:o)